Pain Doesn't Mean Hurt...

I know that You never mean me any harm, if something is painful to me I know that it is not meant to hurt me... It serves such a deeper purpose than hurt and while it is extroidinarily painful to my emotional flesh I know that it is not harmful! 

Sometimes You want me to grow and mature and get past my selfish self and stop sulking and let my heart grow spiritually and learn how to live out gratefulness! I really want that, I really do.  I know that I have a destiny in You and Your destiny is in me as well. 

 I have a renewed hope that I can and will fulfill what You created me for...my purpose! The very things that You have chosen for me and only me- someone may do the same things I am created to pursue, but no one else can do them the same way You, my Lord, have meant for me to do them! 

I'm getting excited because I am starting to have a spiritual breakthrough and I am starting to trust You ,Abba, like never before. You are Who and What makes life worth living, life without addictions and life that is fun! You are teaching me the things that redefine meaningful, purpose and fun! 

Jesus, I know that You see the deep things of my heart and You can see that there is (buried) deeper than should be- but there in my heart, none the less, this love, desire and yearning for You, to serve You. I love You. ~

Start Small, But Start!

Start Small, But Start 

     I have been putting off posting because I hadn't had a lot of conversation with God lately and so I was avoiding it, but Holy Spirit started speaking to me and I was put in the position to think (with my heart) and not be able to run or avoid it!  So my spirit clearly felt Holy Spirit speak this and say..."start small, but start!"

     Yes, Lord, I will take it one small step at a time. I will stop (with Your help), trying to already be there, somewhere, anywhere else and start learning to be in and enjoy the...where I am now! This will take me seeking You, Lord Jesus, and abiding in Your rest which ultimately brings strength to my spirit and physical body. I am so weak without You and I need Your strength to even get through the day. But, You are so faithful and I looked to You today when I was doing my part of this goal to get better in as much as it counts on me, and You were there to help me. You're faithful even when I am not (2 Timothy 2:13) and I'm grateful for Your new and tender mercies each and every day! 

   I'm thankful that my strength is in You. 

     Today,  I was getting tired before I even left for my physical therapy appointment, but I just stopped for a second and I asked You to strengthen me as only You can with Your power which is like no other. And, You did! 

     I Love You Jesus! 

God, You Have Plans Of Purpose For Me!

Dear Lord, 

I want to give You my cares, the things that weigh me down and take my eyes off of You. I want to be the woman of God You want me to be. And, I want to realize Your words of promise, "For I know the plans I have for you...", I keep trying to figure out the plan and I know that is not what You want me to do and that is not trusting You completely. I often feel like I'm running out of time and only You know my Lord, maybe I am, but at my age I definitely want to see Your plans come to be in me. I know You have a plan of purpose for me and I'm going to hold onto that when those feelings of insignificance start to haunt me! With Your help Jesus, I will not make my age an issue as there are many times You used people for Your purpose who were older and wiser and I can do whatever You purpose me to do. 

      How nice that last paragraph seems as I read it again, but really sometimes I have given into feelings and they do sadly seem to be those feelings of insignificance and not enough of just feeling Your peace. Jesus, I think You  would prefer that if I am giving into feelings then I should let it be Your peace and joy that consumes my emotions. 

     I want to keep these posts uplifting and inspiring but the truth is that just isn't always the way it is and I need to remain honest. I will because I think it's important (for me), try to keep them of an edifying, godly and positive nature. They will by no means be anything dark or disturbing, after all...they will be conversations with God The Father, Jesus The Son and The Powerful Holy Spirit! 

    I pondered things like, will these posts be an exchange between me and God in a written format? Or, will they be my thoughts expressed to Him and me simply sharing what I feel He spoke back to me? I realized that I may be overthinking the whole thing and that it most likely will be expressed in a few different formats- and that's okay. 

     I'm going to be led by the Holy Spirit and learn to listen to the still, small voice of God. 

     Thank You Father, for having wonderful plans of purpose for me. 

                           ~