There Is Never Any Waste With God!

I hear you professing all the time that there is no waste with Me (God), so I'm pricking and invoking you to embrace that reality in your own heart and life. 
Recently some harsh blows to you living and abiding in Me and the built-in joy that entails has been, to say the least, challenging, but I want you to remember that I don't waver in any way in regards to that which concerns you and My plans, intentions and love for you!  But, you also need to remember that My plans and purposes for you never involve only you and it would be selfish of you to not understand this. 
Sarah, others are broken and hurting also and until that matters to you as much as it does to Me how then can you possibly want Me to help make your pain have not only an end but a purpose as well? 

Dear Lord,
These words You've given me are so true and You are such an amazing Savior, You have such a way of weaving us all into Your Purpose, which ultimately here on earth is to further Your kingdom by introducing those who don't know You to the One who died for them. You also intend for us to learn how to love others and be members of the Family Of God, one verse in 1 Thessalonians 3:12 NIRV says, "May the Lord make your love grow. May it be like a rising flood. May your love for one another increase. May it also increase for everyone else...". Holy Spirit, show me how to love others with the ever increasing love Paul the Apostle speaks of in this verse. I really want to learn how to love with (Your) unconditional, agape love.
One of the main purposes for Your children here on this earth is to bring glory and honor to You in everything we do and in such a way that it draws others to You, (1 Corinthians 10:31). One of the ways I can bring glory to Your name is to honor not only You during trials, but to honor the trial itself. Honor it by letting it have its way in and with me. Your word tells me, "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance",  (Romans 5:3 NLT).

Sweet and Strong Jesus,
My selfish heart tends to want to dismiss or ignore the difficulties or hurts another person might be going through especially if they have the ability to affect some outcome in my  current situation or world.
When I am going through trials or dealing with difficult people... Please don't let tears be the only thing produced as I claim to feel the weight and gravity of the pain of others. Show me how to turn tears into actions-- may You also show me when tears are enough and prayer is all that is required-- for I am not called to bear everyone's burdens, but I must not miss or dismiss those You have meant for me.
I want to thank You for the gift of having people in my life who can , if and when I let them, help me get through some of these difficult times, and yes even help me to learn how to deal a little more graciously with difficult people. The truth that I have others I can go to who have personal experiences to share with me means so much  and I don't believe it's by coincidence, but because You knew I would need them and their wisdom "for such a time as this".

I know I must trust You Lord, always, and not be complacent or get discouraged while going through the trials that come with learning to exercise, grow and strengthen my faith...faith doesn't exhibit itself until I use it. But each and every time I do use it, my faith becomes stronger. That is why I can say with great assurance that there is no waste with You, Lord. There is not one thing that happens to me (or my loved ones) that You can't or won't turn around for my good and Your glory!

Yes, I will make good on all of My promises, just hold on to and use your faith as I intended for You to, and trust that I do have a greater purpose than what you can see, for you and all of My children. The pain you may be experiencing has a purpose, but the pain itself is not the purpose, in other words, there is always something spiritual going on when trials and challenging people are at work in your life. Try to let spiritual growth have its way in you and then you will either understand what I am trying to acheive in and through you or you will be released from the burden it brings. Trust that I don't randomly, without reason put My children through trials in which there is no purpose... for everything I do has an eternal and lasting purpose. 

~ 

How Did This Happen?

This post was started a few days ago and I've had some better days since then, but I decided to post it anyway because this blog is about talks with God - good, bad or otherwise!

It's 4:40 in the morning, I can't sleep, again! I'm sitting here asking myself how did I get so far away from God and His goodness? How did this happen?

God, I'm in spiritual trouble!
I don't even know what to say, what to pray or what to do!
I feel lost and lonely.
I have managed to alienate most of my family and loved ones so, these days, being in a room full of people is just about the loneliest thing I encounter. I have no church home so any spiritual growth comes from TBN and trying to read God's word at home in my room (alone).
My heart is sinking God, surely there's more to Your plan for me than this!? I literally cannot stand who or where I am right now, and I need help!
Help me, Abba...

So much of my struggle is with this physical pain and sickness and I have no idea how to get the help I need other than what I'm already doing and it is slow, painful and so far no success- at least where any significant relief from the pain is concerned. And then, the worst part is the struggle with the spiritual pain.
It seems as though I have been on the front lines of this spiritual battle for a very long time (3yrs) now and I can't keep going on like this!
Father, please help Your daughter, I am so weary and I need Your rest.


* 1Thessalonians 5:24 Amp. "Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it [fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you]."
Oh, I desperately want to cling to these words of truth! I will desperately cling to theses words, they are hope for my heart.

I made the mistake of putting too much of my trust, hope and future into people, the system, a program, the church, a doctor etc.. These are all good, but not where total trust is given or even expected. Jesus has shown me that only He holds total trust, to give it and receive it. Just like the verse says, faithful and utterly trustworthy are You! It is I who keeps forgetting that.

When I say that I feel lost and lonely, I hear You telling me Lord, that You felt that way too as You carried Your cross to the place where You would die for my lost and lonely soul. You never leave me, You always abide in me, so if I am lost and lonely then it can only mean that I am not abiding in You. That is a very sobering truth!
I feel the Holy Spirit reminding me that, yes, God can and does come down and touch thousands of people all at once, but He also can and does come down and touch one lonely and hurting heart of one of His precious daughter's. So whether I am in a room full of people and still so lonely it hurts or whether I am in a room all alone - I have Him,  ALWAYS!

I know God, that You have not ever left me, no, not once! It is I, who has abandoned You!
And, I now know, that is exactly how this slipping away from You and Your goodness did happen!

~